1 The President of The United States Of America

The Queen hates cooking turkey, but since she knows this is the old colonial Thanksgiving favorite, she soldiers on. On her way to the market, the Rolls Royce breaks down. Having to continue her journey by the Underground, Her Majesty encounters Elizabeth Taylor 'slumming it', and is harassed by a char lady and a group of punk rockers.  At the market she knights the butcher 'Sir Loin!'

2 The Archbishop of Canterbury

In the Cathedral, the Archbishop is praying for divine deliverance from his upcoming dinner with the Queen. Humour abounds in the kitchen when Her Majesty prepares Devilled Eggs and Hot Cross Buns while managing to defrock His Eminence of both dignity and clothing.

3 The Royal Yacht Britannia

Yes, you are right - the ship was mothballed, and the Queen did shed a tear. But she is absolutely delighted upon hearing from Her Admiral of the fleet that there is another ship ready for launch. At the Royal Dockyards, she presents the guard of honour with a new flag, and pats the ceremonial goat on the head. She later regrets this close encounter with their mascot as it takes a liking to her ermine stole. On a lighter moment, she launches the ship, barbeques sea urchins with lobster-claw wraps and goat fritters for the crew.

4 The Inauguration of the Beatles

Yet again, the Queen must do as the Prime Minister bids and present a new Order of the British Empire to this legendary band. Prince Harry has nicked all her collection of Beatle records, so she agrees to open a new music emporium in Oxford Street in return for all the records she can carry. Back at the palace, she prepares Lancashire Hot Pot, followed by Paul McCartney's favourite Bread and Butter pudding - all to the sound of  "She Loves Me, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."

5 The 'Mona Lisa'

The Queen often represents Great Britain abroad by attending trade shows - today she is off to Paris. Her booth is located at the Louvre right in front of the Mona Lisa. That hideous smile shines down on upon our galloping gourmet whilst she flambés British classics such as Steak Diane, Cherries Jubilee, and her very own version of Peach Melba. There is so much happening that a spill of rare cognac sets everything on fire, including the priceless painting. The last thing we see of our flaming Queen is her quick exit down the back stairs of the Louvre.

6 King Letsie III of Lesotho

One of the few remaining African rulers, King Letsie III of Lesotho, is to make a state visit to England. Accompanied by his retinue of wives and courtiers, he never leaves home without the sacred plate of elephant dung -  'The Queen is not amused'. On the way to greet him at the Aerodrome, the Rolls breaks down, yet again.  Stranded at the side of the road, she eventually thumbs a lift with King Letsie III in the back of a Leyland truck. For the state banquet, she prepares Snake and Pigmy Pie (her silly little joke), roast sheep's head (including eyes) and a magnificent platter of Suckling Pig.

7 Robbie Burns Day at Balmoral Castle

The Queen is at home in this Medieval pile . She is often seen dancing the Hyland Fling to keep warm due to the lack of central heating. Her Scotch broth takes on the appearance of popcorn with swelling barley all over the stove. This episode includes the incident of the famous exploding Haggis. She received enquiries regarding the recipe from the Ministry of Defense and Foreign Embassies.

8 A day at the Fair - The fortune Teller
         
All in the day of a Queen. She opens the fair; gives her rendition of Queen Elizabeth's speech on the Golden Hind when she knighted Sir Francis Drake; takes a ride on the merry-go-round and consults Gipsy Rose Lee on how to find the missing Danish Emeralds. She sets up her own stall to sell her line of ' The Queens Own' products, while demonstrating the messy procedure of potting and preserving her ' Queen's Own' jams, chutneys and pickles.

9 All aboard  'The Queen Mary ll'

After launching this floating palace, the Queen takes over the Royal Suite to throw a party for friends and dignitaries. The Queen demonstrates her prowess with the cocktail shaker and what she can do with an olive, but begins to melt along with the ice sculptures under the intense heat of the Cabin. Whilst attending a poolside rave, she wobbles into the pool and gives a jolly good show of fish impersonations and swimming gymnastics.

10 A Royal Command Performance at the London Palladium.

Our Queen has a love of the theater, and is resplendent in the Royal box waving during The National Anthem  'GOD SAVE THE QUEEN'. From there on, she needs all the help she can get, for scandal is afoot. Forget what is happening on stage. there is a royal fiasco in the royal box (no pun intended). Unbeknownst to the Queen, Prince Charles has sneaked in Camilla, for a 'bit ', and Prince William has a bevy of young debutants in tow, all gobbling up ' The Queen's Own' selection of home made chocolates, bon bons and petite fours.

11 The Funeral Tea.

The Royal family is at their very best for state funerals. The Queen prepares a resplendent funeral tea, including Nanny Fullman's Sherry Trifle. Forgetting the recipe she has to visit the infamous Nanny who has been detained at her Majesty's Pleasure, in Holloway Prison for Ladies.

12 The Queens Plate - 'The Sport of Kings' or is that 'Queens?'

She has continued the Queen Mother's role of attending the races, this time in Toronto, Canada, to present the Queens Plate. We see her in the royal enclosure, binoculars in hand, jumping and cheering her own horse at the win. To celebrate she invites everyone to her table for tea delights that she has made earlier. The Melton Mowbray pie did not turn out so well but the Fairy Cake was a hit with everyone, particularly Prince Edward and the young Gentlemen hangers-on.

13  Charles Dickens - Christmas Special

We open to a resplendent scene in the drawing room of Buckingham Palace, complete with a traditional tree and hand-made decorations by the Royal Children. The occasion is a recital of  'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens. Wait a moment. that really is Charles Dickens, and the Queen. why its Queen Victoria and her many Grand Children. The time is 1869, and we are treated to a magnificent display of Victorian dishes of Jugged Hare, Flummery, and Plum Pudding with rum sauce, all prepared by Queen Victoria herself. This culinary bent must run in the Family.